Sad to say it's been an ongoing challenge in the years since I wrote this. Tbh I republished this because I needed the reminder. Very much struggling with surrender currently. Control freaks unite? I used to be a big 12 steps junkie, and while I never quite "surrendered my will and my life over to a higher power", I do think 12 steps taught me a lot. These days I'm focusing more on the somatics side of it. What does surrender feel like in my body? What does it feel like to let my body be held, to let go? (as simple as feeling into how I'm held by my mattress, for instance, *really* feeling what it's like for my bed to hold me)
It’s nice to be reminded we can return to the body. Sometimes I feel like I’m looking for cheat codes…how can I think my way out of this! What can I possibly DO! Haha. As if surrendering is another thing on my to do or fix it list. It’s harder to just “be” and sit with my body. I love the idea of keeping it simple, like “how I’m held by my mattress.” Thank you! Godspeed to all us lil control freak-a-leaks.
This struck a deep part of me I somewhat hadn’t acknowledged existed. I think it channeled so many of my thoughts as a kid that I didn’t realise I still had. I will be forever changed, thank you
I’m getting there in terms of this whole death thing. I’m beginning to not just give up my fear but trying to learn to embrace it. Nearly dying a few times and having a “mental break” certainly pushed the needle. Thank you for this beautiful reminder.
Oof. This one. What has helped you in terms of learning how to surrender? (asking for a friend)
Sad to say it's been an ongoing challenge in the years since I wrote this. Tbh I republished this because I needed the reminder. Very much struggling with surrender currently. Control freaks unite? I used to be a big 12 steps junkie, and while I never quite "surrendered my will and my life over to a higher power", I do think 12 steps taught me a lot. These days I'm focusing more on the somatics side of it. What does surrender feel like in my body? What does it feel like to let my body be held, to let go? (as simple as feeling into how I'm held by my mattress, for instance, *really* feeling what it's like for my bed to hold me)
It’s nice to be reminded we can return to the body. Sometimes I feel like I’m looking for cheat codes…how can I think my way out of this! What can I possibly DO! Haha. As if surrendering is another thing on my to do or fix it list. It’s harder to just “be” and sit with my body. I love the idea of keeping it simple, like “how I’m held by my mattress.” Thank you! Godspeed to all us lil control freak-a-leaks.
This struck a deep part of me I somewhat hadn’t acknowledged existed. I think it channeled so many of my thoughts as a kid that I didn’t realise I still had. I will be forever changed, thank you
<3
I’m getting there in terms of this whole death thing. I’m beginning to not just give up my fear but trying to learn to embrace it. Nearly dying a few times and having a “mental break” certainly pushed the needle. Thank you for this beautiful reminder.
Loved the perspective - thanks for reposting